A few months ago, I found myself going through a bit of a personal and motherhood crisis. The symptoms may sound familiar to some of you. Less patience. Zero energy. Negative self-perception and an overall feeling of “ugh” as I started each day. As I analyzed the situation I could think of countless things that would likely help to get me out of this rut. Eating better, exercising more, regular date nights with my hubby, a weekend getaway, a cleaner home and more structure in our daytime routine, just to name a few. But somehow listing those things only sent me down a path of mentally berating myself, which is a recipe for disaster and, at the very least, leaves me feeling even more overwhelmed.
But today I write to you bolstered by a feeling of empowerment after having discovered the secret of happiness.
That’s right, the secret of happiness. And, you’re in luck, because I’m willing to share.
It can all be summed up in two words: Up early.
Well, I should say, up earlier.
The idea was sparked after reading an article about a man who decided to try a 21-day challenge to get up at 4:30 a.m. each day in order to increase his productivity.
Rest assured, I am not saying such an early start time is necessary.
The author admitted in the article that he knows he is in a unique situation because he is single, has no children and works from home so his schedule and decisions are entirely his own.
(Can any of you remember such a time? My memory of it is faint and getting fainter.)
His frank description of his experience — and the experiences of others I know who have tried similar things — got me thinking. Why was I groaning every morning when my children popped their adorable heads into my room? Why was making breakfast such an exercise in patience? Why couldn’t I get my act together and start exercising more regularly? Why did I feel like I needed — nay, deserved — a nap every day? Why was I annoyed when I couldn’t align my children’s schedules to meet this particular need?
After much contemplation, the answer became clear, albeit counterintuitive. I was trying to sleep too long.
Oh sure, it didn’t feel long, because my children’s wake time is 7 a.m., give or take. The secret, however, is to be up earlier. What is earlier? That is likely to differ from person to person, but ultimately it means earlier than the children. Earlier than my husband. Early enough that I would have a few moments of me time to think, shower, read, study, exercise, clean, or whatever else I choose to do.
What’s that you say? You’re exhausted? Not sleeping enough as it is? Interrupted night after night by some kid-related crisis or another?
Yep. Me too.
The real secret, however, is this plan doesn’t start when you hear the alarm go off in the morning. It starts the night before. You see part of my problem was I was trying to add several hours of so-called productivity to the end of my day when I was already exhausted.
All day I’d think, “Oh, I will organize those toys after the kids are in bed” or “the laundry can be folded tonight when things are calm” and “I can finish that work project tonight.” But after running the gauntlet of dinner/bath/bed, followed by the endless tucking and re-tucking of our 3-year-old who has a list of bedtime excuses as long as my arm, I was spent. So instead of basking in the quiet nighttime hours and tackling my extra projects, I’d settle into my favorite chair and get sucked into a mini Netflix marathon.
The second part — really the first part — of the up earlier mentality is to get up off the couch earlier and into bed earlier the night before.
Thanks to my self-imposed 10 p.m. bedtime, I have traded some of my least productive hours at night, for some of the most enjoyable morning ones.
I exercise, shower without an audience, listen to inspirational talks, read, study, clean, whatever I want — all in the serenity of a silent house.
What is even more remarkable is how much happier I am to greet our children. Breakfast still comes with challenges depending on how happy the children choose to be on a given morning, but I am much more equipped to respond with patience and love because I am more well rested, and I’ve already had a little time for myself.
Oh, and I have done my absolute best to ban the snooze bar from my life.
So far, so good. I am happier. Remarkably, I have more energy. My patience and creativity are increasing and overall, I’d say this could be the beginning of a beautifully satisfying life change.
The key is to keep it up.
Lisa Larson is a freelance writer and mother of three. Reach out to her on Twitter @LisaGLarson or at www.facebook.com/larsonlisa
Quick side note: I only recently implemented this and my youngest child is 1. I would not consider it during the early months with a new baby and am certainly not suggesting moms of newborns should be getting up any more than they already are. But once your children are sleeping through the night, give it a go.